


"Turn off the Lights."

by matthewcyka



Category: Criminal Minds (US TV)
Genre: Child Neglect, Crying, Dehydration, Embarrassment, Headaches & Migraines, Hugs, Hurt Spencer Reid, Hurt/Comfort, Sad Spencer Reid, Sick Character, Spencer Reid Whump, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-24
Updated: 2019-03-24
Packaged: 2019-12-06 19:05:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,191
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18224207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matthewcyka/pseuds/matthewcyka
Summary: He couldn't focus, and everything was to bright, too loud, too much. He needed it to stop.-hey guys this is my first fic of any kind, but one of my favorite fandom's the Criminal Minds fandom. i write a lot of fan fiction but i never published any so i hope this is good.





	"Turn off the Lights."

**Author's Note:**

> i published this fic 5 months ago, and the italics i guess malfunctioned or something? any small text should be italics, as if i am emphasizing the word in question. so sorry about that! 💗

All the lights were off, but it was still too bright. It was nearing 3:00am and the back of his eyelids felt stark white in comparison to everything else in the room. His head was throbbing, his temple was pulsing and he really can't seem to comprehend the fact that his brain hasn't exploded yet. 

His eyes were misty and he was fighting off the urge to give into his tears. He knew what was happening, its been happening for too long. 

𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦𝘔𝘪𝘨𝘳𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘦!

It's all he could hear being chanted in the back of his head, it was like an external force, though he knew no one else was in the room. 

He brushes his sweaty curls from his forehead and starts letting out loud panting breaths, it was so hot, but the air felt cold on his clammy skin. He felt sudden nausea and forced himself to move from his curled up position on the floor. He pulled his body as fast as he could to the bathroom while slamming a hand over his mouth.

He threw up bile and coffee, all he'd eaten today, before he could even drop to his knees. His legs buckled underneath him and he fell down hard and fast. His head spun and blackness started seeping into the edges of his vision, he tangled his hands in his hair to keep it away from the bile spewing from his mouth. This is one of his worse migraines, it's causing nausea and he knows that he knows why but he 𝘤𝘢𝘯'𝘵 think straight.

He finally finished and when he did he realized that he had tears running down his face and a sob was caught in his throat. He can't stop crying, oh god, he's not supposed to cry. Crying like this reminds of high school memories and Tobias Hankel.

His hands grip at his counter and he wills himself to use all his strength and pull himself onto his feet to reach into his medicine cabinet. The small white bottle with a red logo was so bright, but he ripped it open and dry swallowed the pills. His phone rings and starts crying harder because his ears were already ringing and it's so loud.

He gripped the phone until his knuckles were white, he answered the call with the phone on speaker.

"We've got a case Reid. Sorry if I woke you. Grab your to-go back and meet us at the air strip in an hour," Hotch was curt on the end of the line, getting straight to the point. Spencer willed his voice to stay calm and smooth. as he replied,

"It's fine Hotch, I'll be there." He thanked every god of every religion that his voice was steady enough to just sound tired, and not like he'd been crying.

"See you Reid," Hotch replied quickly, he heard the line fade out and he tucked his phone in his pocket. He pulled himself up so he could get dressed and ready, it took all his energy to brush his teeth, his hair, apply deodorant and get dressed.

By the time he was on the train to Quantico he had around 15 minuets to make sure he didn't look half dead, the reflection of the train windows showed his pale face and dark rings under his eyes. He decided to put on a dark blue dress shirt so that the light color doesn't hurt his eyes, his black tie still seemed too bright but that doesn't make sense and he cant seem to think of a logical reason why. He had his ID in his hands because he thought he might forget it if he didn't.

He ran off the train sending a wave of vertigo straight to his head, but he fought through and just managed to collapse on his desk chair, just as Hotch and Garcia walked in.

"Everyone grab your to-go bags we're debriefing on the plane." Hotch announced while Garcia ran after him to the direction of the airstrip.

Reid stood but was assaulted by two of his senses, his ears are ringing and his vision blurs to the point where he's wondering whether or not he remembered to put his contacts in. He continues to force himself along and trying to block out all his thoughts. Everything hurts, he wants to just sleep and cry. But he cant, his head is pounding and his muscles are tight and heavy.

-

Spencer dropped down into his seat and buried his head in his hands. The jet lights were 𝘴𝘰 bright, and he thinks that maybe someones trying to talk to him but hes not listening.

When a hand touches his shoulder he jumps and starts throwing punches, he doesn't seem to realize that Hotch and JJ are yelling his name and Morgan has his arms pinned.

"-eid! Reid! Spencer! Spence!" JJ yells, Spencer finally opens his eyes and takes in the situation, Hotch and Morgan looked worried as they peered over him, JJ was surprisingly scared about Spencer's current position. He tried to relax his muscles but they were so tense and they felt stuck in place, he starts struggling because he's 𝘯𝘰𝘵 a child. Out of the corner of his eye he noticed JJ turn off the lights, she knew about his migraines.

"Spencer! you're okay, you're fine, please calm down!" Rossi started talking, but Spencer couldn't see him, the words were fuzzy but he could barely make them out. Spencer used his energy to force his muscles to relax slightly, he felt tears in his eyes again and Morgan finally let his arms go. Reid immediately wraps his arms around his waist in a defensive gesture and pulls his legs up against his chest. Everyone is staring at him and he doesn't know why they wont leave him alone, hes 𝘧𝘪𝘯𝘦. 

"Are you okay Reid?" He heard Hotch ask, Spencer didn't reply right away but he released his arms from his waist and pushed against his ears, though he knew it wouldn't to anything.

"Migraine," he heard JJ whisper. He clenched his eyes closed and he was hit with another wave of nausea. 

Spencer threw himself off of the chair he was sitting in and rushed to the small bathroom before throwing up spit and bile into the toilet. He continued dry heaving, he felt someones hand on the back of his neck holding his short hair back. 

"Shhhh, Reid you're okay," he realized that everyone else stayed back, and that it was actually Emily in the room with him. He continued to cough and hack into the toilet, his throat burned from the bile. He felt tears on his face and was immediately embarrassed, FBI agents 𝘥𝘰𝘯'𝘵 cry. he rubbed his fists against his eyes before he realized how childish he probably looked. "Oh Spencer, you're sick."

"M' fine, not sick," He mumbled into the toilet bowl.

"C'mon you're going to come with me, and we're going to get you to lay down on the couch."

"It's too bright," Spencer mumbled "Turn off the lights."

"Oh Spencer... the lights 𝘢𝘳𝘦 off," Emily said soothingly, helping him limp along to the couch before pushing him gently on to it. Spencer turned around on the couch burying his head into the cushions. 

"He okay?" Spencer thinks that Morgan asking, but he couldn't be sure. He heard a muffled reply along the lines of, "No- sick- JJ said migraine- light sensiti_" the words were cutting in and out but he hear small snippets. He let out a low whine as turbulence made his ears pop, he felt tears wetting the cushion he was on and he felt as if the temperature in the room couldn't get any hotter. He felt disgusting and he wanted to just sleep and shower.

"Hey Spence," JJ started, "I'm gonna give you medicine and some water. You need to swallow the pills so that you can feel better."

He didn't like being talked to like a child but he oddly found it very comforting, he lifted his head and wiped at his eyes again but the tears wouldn't stop.

"Spence don't cry," He heard JJ say, but that made him cry harder. His mind was tricking him into thinking that she was angry that he was crying, even though she was worried. He reached out and took the pills while whispering, "I'm sorry."

"You don't have to apologize for showing emotion Spencer, you're allowed to cry." JJ says quietly, knowing his head was killing him. "This is nausea medication for your stomach okay? I'm sure that you've already taken two Excedrin for your migraine so you can't take anymore for the rest of the day."

Reid dry swallowed the pills, after Morgan gave him a look from across the couch he drank the water as well.

"Try sleeping Reid, after we land I'll take you to the hotel and you are to stay there, its an order okay?" Hotch said seriously. When Spencer opened his mouth to argue Hotch immediately shushed him while gently continuing, "No Spencer, you're too sick to work the case. Get some rest, eat some food, and please feel better okay? We need you at your best for this case, okay?" When Spencer ignored him by looking at the ground Hotch spoke a little firmer, "Okay?" 

"Okay," Spencer croaked out still looking at his feet. Hotch put a comforting hand on his shoulder and gave it a small squeeze. 

-

Spencer stayed lying down on the bed in his hotel room, though the only thing he wanted to do was work on the case. Hotch told him not until his fever was down. Secretly, he was happy not to be on the case because he thinks if he even tries to stand up or walk to the door of his hotel room, he'll collapse and have to call someone to come help him. He grabbed the thermometer for the 10th time off his bedside table and checked his temperature. 102.3.

He closed his eyes and hoped that the lights could get dimmer, though they were all the way off and the curtains were closed completely. 

He couldn't figure out what was wrong, he suddenly felt like he got hit by a wave of emotions. then he realized that its a side affect of the stupid nausea medicine. Tears brimmed his eyes and he sniffled pitifully. 

Tears ran down his face and he felt a sob form in the throat, it burst out of his chest and the sound made him cry more. He 𝘩𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘴 crying, he absolutely despises it, but he can't stop. His emotional dam has finally broken down and it isn't going to build itself back up.

He continued sobbing and he didn't realize how long it was taking him to get control over himself before he heard the lock to the door click, he immediately wiped at his eyes but the tears kept coming. 

"Hey Reid?" He heard Hotch ask, he did 𝘯𝘰𝘵 want his boss to see him cry, even if he'd already seen it earlier. Well, earlier he had just tears running down his face, right now hes sobbing like a baby.

"Spencer, hey you're okay," Hotch rushed over and ran a hand up and down Reid's back. Hotch knew that this was a side affect from the medicine JJ had him take.

Hotch sat down next to Spencer on the bed and pulled his head onto his lap, how he does with Jack. Spencer's hands gripped Hotch's suit pants as he buried his head in his stomach. he felt like a child, physical comfort wasn't something he was used to, thanks to a departing father and a neglectful mother. He realized he was thirsty, like, 𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘭𝘭𝘺 thirsty. He tried reaching for the water bottle on the bedside table, but his muscles felt heavy. They wouldn't move and that only made him cry harder, Hotch seemed to realize what was going on and reached for the bottle, trying to hand it to Reid. 

As if to further embarrass him, Hotch lifted his head and helped him drink the water. Spencer drank until he couldn't anymore, signalling Hotch he was done by tapping his leg.

"Go to sleep now Spencer, Okay? I need you to save your energy, can you do that?" Hotch spoke to him gently, and it made him feel small, but he oddly enjoyed it.

"Yeah," Spencer croaks out, leaning farther into Hotch's stomach, because Hotch was warm, and even though earlier so was Spencer, now he"s freezing. 

"Okay, shhhh, you're okay. Don't cry, shhhh," Hotch soothed, running his fingers through Reid's hair, hoping that it would help put him to sleep faster. Spencer leaned his head unconsciously into his hand. Not realizing that the action let Hotch know that he most likely wasn't used to the comforting touch. "We all care about you Spencer, and we want you to get better okay? Now sleep Reid." Hotch continued to comfort Spencer, whispering nice words to coax him to sleep.

Spencer finally closed his eyes, sleep overtaking him, a small smile on his face.


End file.
